Search Titles
The Onion
- Title ID
- 1356653
- IMDB Page
- Click to view
- Title Type
- tvSeries
- Original Title:
- The Onion
- isAdult:
- No
- Start Year:
- 2007
- End Year:
- Runtime Minutes:
- Genres:
-
- Comedy
Episodes
- Teens Migrating From Facebook To Comments Section Of Slow-Motion Deer Video
- Where Do You Rank On The Overall Mom Leaderboard?
- This Will Change The Way You Watch '10 Things I Hate About You'
- Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History of School Shootings
- Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter to War' Day
- New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less
- Trump Voter Feels Betrayed By President After Reading 800 Pages Of Queer Feminist Theory
- Did Media Treat Bachmann Unfairly Because She's an Insane Woman
- Dredge the River
- BREAKING: DOGS RUNNING
- Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power
- Romney Blames Loss On Successfully Communicating His Message To Minorities
- What Kind Of Mom Stick Is Right For You?
- Cop Explains How It Feels To Live Every Day In Fear Someone Might Record You Brutalizing A Civilian
- Solo: A Star Wars Story' Producer Points Out All The Cameos Made By The Film's Kickstarter Donors
- Should The MLB Ban Infield Shapeshifting?
- Immigrant Explains Difficulty Assimilating To Culture That Constantly Reboots Film Franchises
- Netflix Introduces New 'Browse Endlessly' Plan
- Panel Of Caged Average Americans Weigh In On Economy
- Man Not Sure He's Dynamic Enough To Work At Local Marketing Firm
- Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe
- Malicious Focus Group Convinces Marketers Cinnamon Mountain Dew Is The Next Big Thing
- Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children for the Apocalypse?
- Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation into Panic
- Obama to Hold Job Performance Review with Every American Worker
- Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End to Clippers Game
- Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
- Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
- Police Still Searching for Missing Productive, Obedient Woman
- 'Gays Too Precious to Risk in Combat'
- 'Students First in Line' Program to Offer Job Training at Needy Schools
- Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep with Goat Brain
- Human Head Found in Hamburger
- Mean Automakers Dash Hope for Flying Cars
- NHL Star Called Up to Big Leagues to Play for NFL Team
- New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car to Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte
- Adults Go Wild Over Latest in Children's Picture Book Series
- Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in Yet Another Jewel Heist
- Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
- DEA Recruits Lil Wayne to Use Up All Drugs in Mexico
- Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes for Your Effeminate Son
- New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay to Smoke'
- Report: Most College Males Admit to Regularly Getting Stoked
- Zombie Reagan Raised from Grave to Lead GOP
- VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes in California Causing Major Slut Spill
- FDA Approves Depressant Drug for the Annoyingly Cheerful
- Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations of Head Size
- New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other
- Crime Reporter Finds Way of Linking Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act
- Episode dated 12 March 2009
- Child Bankrupts Make-a-Wish Foundation with Wish for Unlimited Wishes
- Advocacy Group: Mothers Have Right to Expose Milk-Engorged Breasts in Public
- Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail to Explode Inside Targets
- Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer's Please Help Emails Went Completely Ignored
- Perfect One-Pot, Six-Pan, 10-Wok, 25-Baking Sheet Dinner
- The Onion Reviews 'Licorice Pizza'
- Semi-Literate Former Gold Prospector Given Own Cable Talk Show
- Drew Barrymore's New Tell-All Coloring Book Hits Shelves
- Americans Observing 9/11 by Trying Not to Masturbate
- Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack on Nation's Capitol to Spare 'Twilight' Author
- Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport
- Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday
- Sale Of BET To White Supremacist Group Results In No Changes To Programming
- A Friend's Cancer: Good for Your Health?
- Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed by Lars van Trier
- Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks
- CIA Apologizes for Accidentally Overthrowing Costa Rican Government
- Police Seize More than $50 in Wire from Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer
- Thousands of Girls Match Description of Missing Sorority Sister
- Suspicious Package Industry Falls on Hard Times
- 'No Values Voters' Looking to Support Most Evil Candidate
- 'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play a Character Playing 'Warcraft'
- 2-Year-Old Donkey Called Up to Pro Donkey Basketball League
- 9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says
- African-American Boycott of LL Bean Enters 80th Year
- Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now
- Al-Qaeda Also Fed Up with Ground Zero Construction Delays
- Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition of Sitting Around at Airport
- Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys to Hospital
- As Obese Population Rises, More Candidates Courting the Fat Vote
- Astronauts Suffer Agonizing, High Pitched Death After Helium Leak
- Being a Detective Who Talks to Ghosts Not as Exciting as It Looks on TV
- Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead
- Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash
- Breaking News: Series of Concentric Circles Emanating from Glowing Red Dot
- Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
- Bush Calls Up Civil War Reenactors for Duty in Iraq
- Bush Tours America to Survey Damage Caused by His Disastrous Presidency
- China Celebrates Its Status as World's Number One Air Polluter
- Christian Charity Raising Money to Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims
- Congress Debates Merits of New Catchphrase
- Congress Struggles to Come Up with Cool Name for Anti-Drug Initiative
- Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans are Fake
- Country Music Stars Challenge Al-Qaeda with Patriotic New Song 'Bomb New York'
- Delicious Snacks Distract Congressmen from Horrors of War
- Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results of 2008 Election Early
- Domestic Abuse No Longer an Issue, Say Bruised Female Researchers
- Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013
- Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' at Strong Women in TV Awards
- Expert on Anteaters Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters
- FCC Okays Nudity on TV If It's Alyson Hannigan
- Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule by Swimming with Shirt On
- Gap Unveils New 'For Kids by Kids' Clothing Line
- High School Seniors May Be Unprepared for College Level Drinking
- High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds
- Historic 'Blockbuster' Store Offers Glimpse of How Movies were Rented in the Past
- Horrific 120-Car Pileup a Sad Reminder of Princess Diana's Death
- How Can We Raise Awareness in Darfur of How Much We're Doing for Them?
- Hungry FDA Official Orders Massive Pot Pie Recall
- In the Know: America Braces for New Wayans Brothers Movie
- In the Know: Are America's Rich Falling Behind the Super-Rich?
- In the Know: Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?
- In the Know: Are We Giving the Robots That Run Our Society Too Much Power?
- In the Know: Candidates Compete for Vital Idgit Vote
- In the Know: Do You Remember Life Before the Segway?
- In the Know: How can We Make the War in Iraq More Eco-Friendly?
- In the Know: Is the Government Spying on Paranoid Schizophrenics Enough?
- In the Know: Should Americans Return to a Simpler, Stone Age Lifestyle?
- In the Know: Situation in Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex
- In the Know: The US Moat
- In the Know: White House Announces 'Everything Is Great in Iraf'
- International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide to Create Film Role
- Kim Jong Il Announces Plan to Bring Moon to North Korea
- Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb
- Live from Congress: Rep. Hardy Calls for a Ladies' Night Out
- Live from Congress: Rep. Ingersoll's Murder of a Hobo
- Live from Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill of 2007
- Medical Miracle: Man Lives Thanks to Heart Stolen from Dead Man
- Messages from Our Troops to the Families They Can Barely Remember
- Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations of Tolerance
- Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Americans Want to Get Into Bar Fight With
- Mysterious Traveler Entrances Town with Utopian Vision of the Future
- Nation of Andorra Not in Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports
- Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me the Damn Sepak Takraw Ball'
- Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again
- Online Dating Helping Pathetic Woman Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently
- Plight of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie
- Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims of Imminent Dam Disaster
- Proposed (Classified) Bill Will Defend Against Flesh-Eating (Classified)
- Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy of Waving
- Report: 70 Percent of All Praise Sarcastic
- Report: American Schools Trail Behind World in Aptitude of Child Soldiers
- Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Childcare Overseas
- Report: Nation's Wealthy Cruelly Deprived of True Meaning of Christmas
- Reporter in Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somehwere
- Should Animals Be Doing More for the Animal Rights Movement?
- Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics
- Study: Alzheimer's Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer's
- Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed to Children's Healthcare
- Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful to Monkeys
- Study: Nearly 80 Percent of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night
- Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'
- TIME Releases Annual List of Least Influential Americans
- Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop for 6 Years
- Tired of Traffic? A New DOT Report Urges Drivers: 'Honk'
- Today Now! Host Tracy Gill Recommends New Tracy Gill Biography
- U.S. Department of Lost and Found: We Found Your Flip Flop
- U.S. Finally Gets Around to Closing Last WWII Internment Camp
- Use of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career
- Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day
- White House Press Secretary Spins Wife's Tragic Death as a Positive
- Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer to Be Adapted into Full-Length Film
- World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100
- 'Iron Man 2' Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched in the Face
- AA Destroying the Social Lives of Thousands of Once-Fun Americans
- Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop with No Keyboard
- Biden Criticized for Appearing in Hennessy Ads
- Biden Invites Nation's Women to Tax Code Discussion at Private Mountain Chalet
- Bird Hunted to Near Extinction Due to Infuriating 'F*** You' Call
- Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition for Three Remaining Subscribers
- Californians Gather to Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition
- Census Visits Providing Shut-Ins Once-A-Decade Chance for Human Interaction
- Cindy McCain Claims She's 'Just Like Any Other Female Human'
- Congo Approves Economic Stiumulus Package of AK-47 for Every Citizen
- Congress Announces Plan to Hide Nation's Porn from Future Generations
- Congress, 1924: Rep. Demands Horses Wear Dresses to Hide Foul Penises
- Congressmen Submit Emergency 3 AM Bill Demanding IHOP Stay Open All Night
- Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex with Wife Thousands of Times Before Killing Her
- DEA Official Announces Successful Drug Bust of Son's Room
- DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted of Bear Attack
- Do Glass Pipes, Incense Prove Teens Are Practicing Shamanism?
- Domino's Scientists Test Limits of What Humans Will Eat
- Filming of Congressional Reality Show Disrupts Committee Meeting
- Final Season of 'Lost' Promises to Make Fans More Annoying than Ever
- Girl Raised from Birth by Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody
- Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot Holds Clues to Crash
- Gunman Kills 15 Potential Voters in Crucial Swing State
- Has Obama Failed to Reduce Hostility Toward Obnoxious Americans Abroad?
- Hot New Relationship Book Warns Women: 'Wake Up! He's a Shapshifter'
- How Will the End of Print Journalism Affect Old Loons Who Hoard Newspapers?
- How to Put the Spark Back Into Your Relationship with Your Cat
- In the Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give a Shit?
- In the Know: Should More Americans Get in on the EZ-Go Juicer Craze?
- Incredibly Sexy Firefighter Tragically Dies in Steamy Blaze
- Insidious Worm Makes Unauthorized Purchases when Computer User is Drunk
- Internet Archeologists Find Ruins of 'Friendster' Civilization
- Jennifer Aniston Adopts 33-Year-Old Boyfriend from Africa
- Joad Cressbeckler Fears Genetic Modification Causes 'Wrath-Minded Taters'
- Joad Cressbeckler: NASA Honeyfuggling America with Nonsense Space Dream
- Jockey Liam Hollins the Favorite to Brutally Whip Horse to Kentucky Derby Win
- John McCain Accidentally Left on Campaign Bus Overnight
- Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Dog
- Latest Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election
- Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million to Run Photos of Her Baby
- Man Attempts to Assassinate Obama, 'But Not Because He's Black or Anything'
- McCain's Economic Plan for Nation: 'Everyone Marry a Beer Heiress'
- NASA Scientists Plan to Approach Girl by 2018
- Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move in Together'
- New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone to Talk at About Mac Products
- New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users' Ears
- New Law Requires Women to Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion
- Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech
- Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals for America After Visiting Denny's
- Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications for Turkey Pardon
- Obama Promises to Stop America's Shitty Jobs from Going Overseas
- Obama Releases 500,000 Men from U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve
- Obama Replaces Costly High-Speed Rail Plan with High-Speed Bus Plan
- Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain
- Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship to Ease Concerns About His Lack of Experience
- Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters to Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
- Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support from McCain
- Oprah Invites Hundreds of Lucky Fans to Be Buried with Her in Massive Tomb
- Packers Fan Announces He Will Return to Drinking for Another Season
- Obama Axes Pentagon Plan to Build Billion Dollar Tank in Shape of Dragon
- Portrayal of Obama as Elitist Hailed as Step Forward for African Americans
- Precocious Youngster Sells Cookies to Buy Attack Ad
- Red Sox Announce Plans to Return Fenway to Original 1912 Conditions
- Rep. Seeks Retroactive Immunity for Anyone Who Hit on First Lady Last Night
- Report: Baby Skull Jewelry May Be Linked to Violence
- Restoration of 'Star Spangled Banner' Uncovers Horrifying New Verses
- Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay
- Social Security Scam Robs Elderly by Convincing Them They Are Dead
- Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry
- Stouffers to Include Suicide Prevention Tips on Single Serve Microwavable Meals
- Study: Americans Get Majority of Exercise While Drunk
- TIME Announces New Version of Magazine Aimed at Adults
- Today Now!: How to Thrust Your Fat Into a more Appealing Shape
- Truck Accident That Killed Rafters in Canyon Sparks Truck-Canyon-Rafter Reform Debate
- U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup to Wipe Out National Debt
- U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves for Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
- Voting Machines Elect One of Their Own as President
- Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show
- Boy's Tragic Death Could have Happened to Any Family with 20-Foot Pet Python
- Chinese Gossip Blogger Fights for Freedom to Post Celebrity Up-Skirt Photos
- Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming
- Excitement Growing Among Beatles Fans for Paul McCartney's Funeral
- How to Play Golf Against the Man Whose Wife You're Banging on the Side
- In the Know: Is Pundit Duncan Birch a Worthless Idiot?
- Justin Bieber Found to Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile
- Live Feed: Obama Attends the White House Maintenance Staff Annual Dinner
- Overcome Stress by Visualizing It as a Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race of Creatures
- Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment of Women
- Ambassador Stages Coup at UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions
- Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance to Obama's Inauguration Ceremony
- Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.
- Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage
- Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips on How to Make Your Kids Less Attractive
- Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put to Sleep After Breaking Leg
- Hot New Video Game Consists Solely of Shooting People Point-Blank in the Face
- Live from Congress: Representative Wants to See, Meet More Kids Online
- Mexico Builds Border Wall to Keep Out U.S. Assholes
- More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
- NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions
- Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks with Raging Wildfire
- Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
- Prison Economy Spirals as Price of Pack of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs
- Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just for Woman He Follows
- Study: Children Exposed to Pornography May Expect Sex to Be Enjoyable
- Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall of All U.S. Dollars
- White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase
- 'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study on How to Please Your Man
- 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer to Give Women Breast Exams
- All Sports to Cease So Skip Bayless Has Nothing to Talk About
- Astronaut Suspects NASA Using Him to Test Space's Effects on Fat People
- Attractive Girls Union Refuses to Enter Talks with Mike Greenman
- Aunts and Stepdads Line Up for This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle
- Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast of Maine
- Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use
- Breaking News: Bat Loose in Congress
- Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' from Recipe that Came to Him in a Dream
- China Launces First Willing Manned Mission Into Space
- China's Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great the Chinese Government Is
- Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever
- Congressman Demands to Know Who Left Fish Sandwich to Rot on House Floor
- Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology for Extramarital Affair
- Congressman's Son Won't Shut the Hell Up During Hearing
- Congressman's War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed
- Courageous Man Refuses to Believe He Has Cancer
- East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed as Step Forward for Women
- Economist Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close to Collapse
- Evander Holyfield to Box Horse for Heavyweight
- Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat
- Extreme Weather Alert: Meteorologists Predict Intensely Brisk Autumn
- Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
- First Openly Gay Racehorse to Compete Sunday
- Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again by Sneezing During Meeting
- Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy by Moving to Remote Village
- Home Depot Honors Fallen Soldiers with Great Prices on Tools
- How to Wax Your Floors Without Slipping and Severing Your Spine
- Human Rights Group Campaigns to End Use of Child Politicians in Africa
- Hurricane Bound for Texas Slowed by Large Land Mass to the South
- In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby in Giant Turkey Costume
- In the Know: Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards for Skanks?
- In the Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
- In the Know: New Iraqi Law Requires Waiting Period for Suicide Vest Purchases
- In the Know: Should the Government Stop Dumping Money Into a Giant Hole?
- Is Using a Minotaur to Gore Detainees a Form of Torture?
- Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
- Man Who Crossed Nation in Balloon Only Wants to Talk About Horse Abuse
- McCain Declines Secret Service
- Morning Show Host Starts Charity to Rid World of Flying Debris
- NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts for Rigors of an Interview with Larry King
- NCAA Expands March Madness to Include 4,096 Teams
- NHL Tries to Woo Fans by Increasing Scoring with Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line
- New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt and Injury Free
- New Live Poll Allows Pundits to Pander to Viewers in Real Time
- New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work on the Go
- Paleontologists Discover Skeleton of Nature's First Sexual Predator
- Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq
- Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission
- Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics to Find Cause of Dorm Fire
- Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested in Manslaughter
- Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out of Touch with Miserable Americans
- Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness of Life
- President Faces Down Monster in Action-Packed Schedule
- Report: Growing Ranks of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination from Older Poor
- Should We Be Doing More to Reduce the Graphic Violence in Our Dreams?
- Sony Releases New Stupid Piece of Shit that Doesn't Fucking Work
- Special Boy with Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
- Survivors of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss of Gasoline
- Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients from Nature
- The Beijing Olympics: Are They a Trap?
- Tom Coughlin Retires from Family to Spend More Time with Team
- Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as 'Fun, Watchable'
- U.S. Condemned for Pre-Emptive Use of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan
- USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing
- Was There Too Much Sex and Profanity in the HBO Presidential Debate?
- Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias
- Yankees Building New Vacation Stadium in the Hamptons
- YouTube Contest Challenges Users to Make a 'Good' Video
- Putin Learns Putin Behind Plot To Assassinate Putin
- Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like Schoolgirl
- How to Get a Guy to Notice You While You're Having Sex with Him
- Today Now! Interviews the 5-Year-Old Screenwriter of 'Fast Five'
- Missing Teen's Friends Go on TV to Plead for Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates
- Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop at Walmart
- In the Know: Should the Nation's Unemployed Be Buying New Apple Computers?
- In the Know: Should Adults Be Allowed to Bring Kids to R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?
- Millions Irrationally Feared Dead in Minor Train Accident
- Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due to Facebook
- Man in Coma Enters GOP Race, Already Polling Ahead of Romney
- GOP Trying to Keep Elderly Voting Base Alive Until November
- Reporters Struggling to Maintain Energy Until Election
- Ron Paul Makes Campaign Stop in Whimsical Jalopy
- Romney Courts Hispanic Vote with Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot
- Heartbroken Santorum Condemns Gay Marriage for Two-Timing Jerks Like Nick
- Romney, Santorum Supporters to Beat Living Shit Out of Each Other at Montana Primary
- Deceased Acquaintances
- Romney's Terrifying Google Search History Leaked
- Hot New App from the GOP Modernizes Minority Voter Suppression
- New High Tech Voting Machine Lets Voters Mutilate Candidate They Oppose
- America's Roommates Launch 'One Vote Doesn't Matter' Campaign
- How to Avoid Unbearable Facebook Bullshit on Election Day
- Romney Wins, Obama Reelected, Supernova Destroys Earth All Possibilities in a Random Universe
- After Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner for 2016
- Breaking Story So New Reporter Literally Has No Information
- Man Didn't Expect Sex with Prostitute Would Be So Emotionally Fulfilling
- Local Burger Feels Especially Disgusting Today
- Al Qaeda Attacks Internet with Photo of Adorable Piglet
- FDA Official: Just Eat a Goddamn Vegetable
- After Weeks of Media Pressure, Shia LaBeouf Still Refusing to Have Public Meltdown
- Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable of Rolling Eyes and Texting, to Be Euthanized
- Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish
- Town's Teen-Pregnancy Spike Due to One Impressive Youth
- Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried as Black Adult
- Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars
- Sesame Street: 'Bert and Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts
- New Wearable Computer also Sucks Your Dick
- Overjoyed Florida Gay Couples Rush Out to Have Marriage Denied
- The Onion Looks Back at 'The Wizard of Oz'
- Everyone at Office Planning Shooting Spree for Same Day
- Is Our Wealth Hurting Africa's Feelings?
- Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem
- Missing Girl Probably Raped
- Study: Pregnant Women Can Drink One Bottle of Wine a Day If Fetus Can Handle Its Shit
- Reporters Blow Up Plane, Expose Security Lapses
- America's Waitresses: Are They Hitting on You?
- Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought
- Autopsy of a Scene: Paul Feig Points Out How Many Ghosts Are in This Scene from 'The Heat'
- Markets in Turmoil as Price of Money Skyrockets to $90 a Dollar
- Nation Demands New Photograph of Edward Snowden
- Brendan Fraser: 'I Would Like to Apply for One Kickstarter, Please'
- Guy 30 Seconds Into Karaoke Version of 'Man in the Mirror' Better Get His Act Together
- Kourtney Kardashian's Stunning Bikini Body Washes Up on Shore
- Rogue Wave Covers Duran Duran's 'Rio'
- Horrifying Planet: Zebras: Nature's Ultimate Prey
- Horrifying Planet: Chimpanzees: Dumber Than All Humans
- Horrifying Planet: Tidal Pools: Nature's Putrid Sewers
- Horrifying Planet: Spiders: Christ, Fucking Spiders
- Horrifying Planet: Manatees: I Saw Manatees Gang Rape a Crippled Manatee Once, Really
- Horrifying Planet: Robins: The Perfect Murder Machine
- Horrifying Planet: Deer: Deer Are Fine
- Horrifying Planet: Cheap, Clean Natural Gas: Earth's One Good Feature
- Horrifying Planet: Mice: Nature's Disposable Animals
- Horrifying Planet: How to Destroy It
- Horrifying Planet: The Desert: Where Life Goes to Die
- America's Best: America's Breathiest Singer?
- America's Best: America's Best Scatter?
- America's Best: America's Spookiest Ghost Costumes
- America's Best: America's Sexiest Hula Hooper?
- America's Best: Snakes in a Bag
- Horrifying Planet: Animals Spread Disease Constantly
- America's Best: America's Best Kisser?
- America's Best: America's Sandiest Car?
- America's Best: A Tale of Two Singers
- Dr. Good: Your Insides Look Like Smashed Tomatoes
- America's Best: America's Best Huqin Player?
- Dr. Good: Help! I'm a Different Height Than Someone Else!
- Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket to Employment?
- Dr. Good: Dr. Good's Ultimate Shot Giveaway!
- Dr. Good: Wake Up Call for a Bad Tooth Brusher
- Dr. Good: How to Survive Being Shot Point Blank in the Chest
- Dr. Good: Ladies, Freeze Your Hot Young Face for Later!
- Blood-Drenched, Berserk CEO Demands More Web Videos
- In the Know: Report: Economy Failing Because U.S Built on Ancient Indian Burial Grounds
- In the Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?
- In the Know: Should We Be Shaming Obese Children More?
- In the Know: War on Terror
- Back of Library Smells Like Weed
- Panda Demands Abortion
- Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live on Air
- Woman Sets Record for Longest Amount of Time Spent Talking About Oneself
- Boy Loses Leg in Totally Awesome Shark Attack
- Dead Wife and Kids Replaced by Miniature Horses
- Ways to Make Your Commute More Enjoyable
- Tips for Planning a Family Vacation
- How to Live Gluten-Free
- Tips for Socializing Your Dog
- 6-Year-Old Data Entry Prodigy Already Entertaining Offers from Major Temp Agencies
- Onion Explains: Putin's Russia
- The Onion Looks Back at 'The Goonies'
- The Seven Male Role Models Every Child Needs for a Healthy Upbringing
- How to Channel Your Road Rage Into Cold, Calculating Road Revenge
- Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, Enchanted by Prison's Rigid Routine
- Bored Scientists Now Just Sticking Random Things Into Large Hadron Collider
- New Kindle Helps Readers Show Off by Shouting Title of Book Loudly and Repeatedly
- How to Successfully Sue Other Moms Who Steal Your Parenting Tricks
- 13-Year-Old Drinking Prodigy Accepted to Ohio State
- New Ad Urges Hipsters to Go to Applebee's Ironically
- Ten Percent of U.S. High School Students Graduating Without Basic Object Permanence Skills
- Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection with Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine
- The Onion Looks Back at 'Texas Chain Saw Massacre'
- ONN Exclusive: Fire-Ninja Inferno Becomes First Openly Gay Fatal Melee Fighter
- Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave
- Old Guy at Hostel Down to Party
- Congressman Embroiled in Sexting Scandal Explains: 'I Wanted That Girl ToSee My Penis'
- Teacher Who Learns More from Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired
- CEO Says Office Shooting Could Not Have Come at a Worse Time for Company
- Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father's Murder
- Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs to Share with a Friend
- Salt Lake City Hoping to Boost Tourism by Reminding Visitors They're Free to Leave at Any Time
- Maybelline Introduces New Ideal-Woman Rubber Mask to Use in Place of Makeup
- Study: Nation's Third-Graders Now Eating at a Ninth-Grade Level
- Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay to Have Sex with a Robot Dog
- Adorable Hedgehogs You Can Look at as Long as You Can Tolerate the Sounds of a Man Chewing Loudly
- ClickHole: You Can Write Whatever You Want on a Baby... And Here's the Proof
- Deadly Super Rainbow Tears Through West Coast
- Meat Prices Skyrocket After Cow Smashing Machine Gets All Beefed Up
- This Minnesota State Museum's Final Offer to Owner of Couch from 'Mary Tyler Moore' Set
- Beard Husks on Sidewalk Indicate Start of Hipster Molting Season
- Last-Ditch Dating Website Simply Asks Users to Check 'Yes' If They Have Open Sores
- Who's Fucking: Isaac and Doris
- Nation's Blakes Cruise Easily Through Lifeguard Tryouts
- More Office Workers Switching to Fetal Position Desks
- Bounty Launches Beginner Series for People New to Paper Towels
- Slow-Witted Conspiracy Theorist Convinced Government Behind NASA
- Survey: Most Common Deathbed Regret Never Spraying Fire Extinguisher
- Couple Keeps It Interesting by Bickering in Different Positions, Rooms
- Study: Slapping Everyone in Grocery Store, Exposing Yourself in Produce Section Still Frowned Upon
- Scientists Confirm Statues Humans' Closest Nonliving Relative
- 12-Year-Old Couldn't Begin to Guess Name of Friend Whose House He Visits to Play Xbox
- Open Relationship Gives Couple Freedom to Emotionally Drain Other People from Time to Time
- Increasingly Worried Man Hasn't Yet Come Across Any Guacamole in Burrito
- Man Doesn't Know How Parents Ever Going to Pay Off Massive Student Loan Debt
- Grievances Brought Up with Powerless Supervisor
- Centers for Disease Contraction Urges Americans to Suck Doorknob
- Child Sees No Reason Why Iron Man Costume Can't Be Worn to Grandfather's Funeral
- Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter
- Chipmunk's Plan for Future Better Crafted Than That of 8 Out of 10 Americans
- Area Man Unsure If He's Male-Bonding or Being Bullied
- College Freshman Honors Dead Roommate's Memory by Solemnly Eating All His Food
- Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone in Own House
- Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite
- Guy Wondering How Much Longer to Keep Picture of Dead Friend as Profile Pic
- Couple Making Out at Bus Stop Like It's Fucking Paris
- Cutest Guy in Whole Office Not Even Particularly Attractive
- Man Says 'Fuck It', Eats Lunch at 10:58 A.M.
- Man with Strong Brand Loyalty Willing to Kill for Mazda
- High School for the Performing Arts Student Goes in Depth About Really Weird Peer Pressure
- Area Man Panics After Accidentally 'Liking' 381 of His Ex-Girlfriend's Facebook Photos
- Devoted Abuser Stops by Girlfriend's Office to Deliver Surprise Threat
- PR Firm Advises U.S. To Cut Ties with Alabama
- Report: Peanut Butter Contains Traces of Rat Feces But Life's Weird Like That Sometimes
- College Freshman's Roommate Has Had Excuse to Go Home Every Weekend Since August
- Mother Who Forgot to Pay 29-Year-Old Son's Phone Bill Reminded to Really Be Careful About That
- Congress Arrested on Manslaughter Charges
- Man Has Such Good Friends They'll Let Him Drink Himself to Death Right Before Their Eyes
- Activists Release Horrifying Video Showing How Meat Products Are Eaten
- Study: Most Serial Killers Did Not Receive Toy Every Time They Went to Store as Kids
- Small Business Still Manages to Mistreat Workers Like Large Corporate Chain
- High School Student, Teacher Applying for Same Summer Waitressing Job
- The Onion's Tips for Finding an Apartment
- Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier and Earlier, Report Teen Boys
- The Onion's Tips for Getting a Good Night's Sleep
- Jock Scientists Identify Gay Gene in Fellow Researcher Carl
- The Onions Tips for Nailing a Job Interview
- Southwest Airlines Rolls Out New 'Loyalty Goes Both Ways' Campaign
- Jared Leto Thanks Acting for Being an Easy Thing That Anybody Can Do
- Report: Local Gas Station Wouldn't Be That Hard to Rob
- Is Emma Stone Sporting a Baby Bump? A Nine-Year-Old Boy Tells Us What He Thinks
- New Report Shows Record Year for Births of Test Tube Abominations
- Sochi's Euthanized Dogs to Be Returned to Streets After Olympics
- The Onion's Tips for Healthy Eating
- Sheltered Suburban School Already Knows They're Going to Fuck Up Black History Month
- Russia Applauds America's Efforts to Exclude Gay Athletes from Professional Sports
- New Study Shows That Bones Are Incredibly Cool
- Nation's Lunatics Lament Rising Cost of Car Meat
- Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up for Flood of Closeted Republicans
- Woman Confusingly Tells Area Man She's Not Interested in Him
- Report: Rising Number of Weak, Emasculated Men Working as Stay-At-Home Dads
- BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead in Coors Light Party Train Crash
- McDonald's - 'And Yet, Is Not Beef Itself an Expression of Wanton Lust?'
- Blanket of Snow Creates Illusion That Town Not a Total Shithole
- Weather Forecast Says It's Windy as S Bastard
- The Onion's Tips for Last Minute Holiday Shopping
- The Onion's Tips for Decorating a Christmas Tree
- The Onion's Tips for Succeeding as a Woman in the Workplace
- Christina Aguilera Tour Canceled Due to Fan Exhaustion
- Report: American People Lead World in Compressing Big Sandwiches So They're Bitable
- Hollywood's Biggest Stars Rally to Save Their Children
- The Onion's Tips for Fall Fashion
- How to Get Your Son to Remove His Halloween Costume
- The Onion Looks Back at 'The Shining'
- Wes Anderson Reteams with Favorite Objects for 'Grand Budapest Hotel'
- The Onion Looks Back at 'Jaws'
- Small Town Throws Pride Parade for Only Gay Resident
- Dan Savage Successfully Undergoes Gay Conversion Therapy
- Cases of Shaken Manchild Syndrome on the Rise
- Surgeon General: Smoking Fine as Long as You Only Do It When You Drink
- Colorado Boy Asks Nation Not to Find His Missing Little Brother
- Black Part of Town Moves Across Town
- The Onion Looks Back at 'Back to the Future'
- The Onion Reviews 'Divergent'
- The Onion Reviews 'Gone Girl'
- Cucumber Is Everywhere, So Why Are People Still Fat?
- America Is More Religious Than Other Countries Due to Its Proximity to the Gates of Hell
- How Do Archers Resist Firing Arrows at Everyone in the Spectator Gallery?
- How Do Construction Workers Push Their Bodies to Finish Olympic Stadiums on Time?
- DNC Speech: 'It's Howard Dean, Motherfucks!'
- RNC Speech: 'Fuck, We're Really Just Letting This Fucking Happen?'
- How Does a Hive Mind Keep a Synchronized Swimming Team So Coordinated?
- Does Shaving a Hammer Really Make It Move Faster Through the Air?
- S1E1: Immigration: The Human Cost
- S1E2: Controversy in Captivity
- S1E6: Something's Happening in Haiti
- S1E10: Memorial Honors Victims of Imminent Dam Diaster
- S1E323: Media Monitor
Directors
- Will Graham
- J.J. Adler
- Lang Fisher
- Dan Mirk
- David Sidorov
- Ben Hayflick
- Scott Dikkers
- Geoff Haggerty
- Chris Kelly
- Jj Shebesta
- Sam West
- Jon Watts
Writers
- Jon Bershad
- Alexander Blechman
- Haw Cheng
- Dominic Dierkes
- Kevin Eis
- Alex Firer
- Lang Fisher
- Curtis Gwinn
- Geoff Haggerty
- Casper Kelly
- Chris Kelly
- Sam Kemmis
- Dan Klein
- Matt Klinman
- Carol Kolb
- Ed Kuehnel
- Jack Kukoda
- Jeff Loveness
- Arthur Meyer
- Dan Mirk
- Michael Pielocik
- Seth Reiss
- Brian Santa Maria
- Chris Sartinsky
- Nate Shelkey
- David Sidorov
- Mike Simses
- Joe Wengert
- Tony Werner
- Sam West
Rating:
- IMDB: 8.7
- Votes: 288
Also Known As:
- The Onion
People
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